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Living with Dying in America

	Finding Our Way: Living with Dying in America: Get up-to-date information on advanced illnesses and end-of-life care, including links to all of the resources accompanying this series. Partnership for Caring: America's Voices for the Dying: Download forms for advance directives tailored to your state; join a consumer advocacy group focused on improving end-of-life care. The Last Acts Campaign: Research latest news on legislative, educational policy initiatives from local, state and national organizations. The National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization: Search for hospice and palliative care, two types of care dedicated to comfort at the end of life. LIFE Project: The Kansas LIFE Project (Living Initiatives For End-of-Life) is a not-for-profit organization working to ensure that all Kansans have dignity, comfort and peace at the end of life. Their website offers numerous consumer resources on such topics as grief, caregiving, pain management, hospice and palliative care and more. Growth House: Search this "Yahoo of Death and Dying" for comprehensive links to end-of-life care, including many that focus on diversity. The Center for Advanced Illness Coordinated Care (in collaboration with the Veterans Administration Healthcare Network of Upstate New York at Albany): Find guidance on coping with the complexities of serious illness through the "Walking the Advanced Illness Road" section. American Association of Retired Persons: Offers extensive information on and support for caregiving, illness, grief, widowhood, funerals, wills and estate planning and advance directives. Aging With Dignity: Download Five Wishes, a planning document. Center to Advance Palliative Care: Search the latest resources in palliative care available to hospitals and health care systems. Missoula Demonstration Project: Research this site for communities interested in setting up models for improved care at the end of life. Community-State Partnerships to Improve End-of-Life Care (funded by the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation): Find out what individual states are doing to organize health care professionals, educators and policymakers. Project on Death in America: Lists end-of-life innovations in the arts, social work, education and public policy. Promoting Excellence in End-of-Life Care: Research programs that have received grants and technical support to change the face of dying in America. Americans for Better Care of the Dying: Track changes in public policy, as well as reforms in pain management and support for family caregivers. American Academy of Hospice Physicians: Find board-certified hospice and palliative care physicians. Have any resources or stories to share? Please visit the Community Forum area on lawrence.com. The ways we cope: Post your memorials to loved ones. Post your family memorabilia and old photos. Post your poetry to loved ones. Which do you consider to be the most-pressing issue relating to death and dying:   Pain management for the terminally ill Honoring a person’s cultural differences during end-of-life care Revamping of the health insurance industry More awareness of hospice care Better accreditation standards for hospitals and their staffs see the results

Changing the nature of facing death
Sunday, December 16, 2001
By Jan Biles

After pushing for everything from natural childbirth in the 1960s to longer, healthier lives in the decades since, 76 million baby boomers are now demanding information, guidance and relief in what will be their ultimate transition — moving from advanced illness into dying.

Finding your way through the end of life
Sunday, December 16, 2001
End-of-life activist Laura Letson offers tips to help you navigate through the system:

Doing our duty to help others face the end
Sunday, December 16, 2001
The passion to help others started smoldering inside Laura Letson a long time ago. Her father fueled it as a firebrand union man. Her mom stoked it by fighting on behalf of fellow civil servants.

Bereaved cope with grief during the holidays
Sunday, December 9, 2001
By Mindie Paget

It's a belief in Marge Hazlett's family that when loved ones die, they become birds. Perhaps the spirit of Hazlett's mother was carried away by the flock of geese that flew overhead in the moments after she passed.

Finding your way through grief
Sunday, December 9, 2001
Here are some questions and answers to help you through the death of a loved one:

Group helps teens surmount sadness over death
Saturday, December 8, 2001
One by one, the six teen-agers seated in a circle shared why they had come. "I'm Erin. I'm here because my dad died last March, my sister died in January, my friend died a month after that, and another friend died in April," a girl dressed in a pink T-shirt and jeans jacket said.

Living with loss: Bereaved swim against tide of grief
Saturday, December 8, 2001
A drunken driver killed my daughter, Ellen, when she was 17. I remember the physical blow of hearing she was dead. I couldn't catch my breath and I couldn't stop crying. It seemed as if someone had set off a bomb that destroyed the house of my life.

Helping children grieve
Saturday, December 8, 2001
Tips for guiding children as they deal with loss:

Violent and unexpected deaths leave trail of 'secondary victims'
Sunday, December 2, 2001
At 10:30 p.m. on April 29, 1997, Cheryl and Joe Wieromiej became "secondary victims." The call to their Albany, N.Y., home was from a family member who rushed to tell them — before they might hear it on the evening television news — that their two grandchildren were dead in a small town some 30 miles away.

When caregivers need care themselves: how professionals cope
Sunday, December 2, 2001
By Joy Ludwig

They see victims die in car and train accidents, in fires, by gun shots and in other horrible ways. In those times of crises, they comfort and help grieving families and friends. And then sometimes, the caregivers must help themselves because they are, after all, ordinary human beings.

Finding your way through violent or unexpected death
Sunday, December 2, 2001
If you suddenly lose a loved one to a violent or unexpected death, you can expect to go through what professionals call "traumatic bereavement" — strong reactions of shock, pain, deep sadness, confusion, guilt and anger. Here's what may happen and how to deal with it:

A daughter's last gift
Sunday, November 25, 2001
By Jan Biles

Judy O'Grady has faced the nightmare of every mother. On Aug. 3, her youngest daughter, Brooke, died of cancer. But 15-year-old Brooke had an agenda in the months leading up to her death. Little by little, day by day, she taught her mother how to live.

When a child is dying: Smallest patient offers biggest lesson
Sunday, November 25, 2001
Jennifer Phelan knows it's possible to survive the unthinkable. She knows because her 7-year-old daughter showed her how. Phelan's education started in June of 1999, when her only child, Georgiana Antonopoulos, was diagnosed with leukemia/lymphoma, a cancer of the blood.

Finding your way through a child's illness and death
Saturday, November 24, 2001
Here are tips for family members on dealing with the life-threatening illness and death of a child:

When the unthinkable happens: dealing with a child's death
Saturday, November 24, 2001
By Jan Biles

A child dying before his parents goes against the natural order of life. But Alva Skiles says it occurs more often than people might think.

Alternatives to nursing homes offer smorgasbord of long-term care
Sunday, November 18, 2001
Just 10 years ago, if you were old and frail and couldn't get by without help, chances were you would end up in a nursing home — whether or not you really needed that level of care. That world is gone.

Nursing homes are last stop for most Americans
Sunday, November 18, 2001
"Putting my mother in a nursing home was the hardest decision I ever made. Ever," said Cynthia Cooper, recalling the day just over 3 years ago when she knew her mother could never return home.

Finding your way through choosing a nursing home
Sunday, November 18, 2001
For most people, nursing homes are like black boxes. You can't tell what's inside, and they all seem alike. But there are important differences, and it's not that hard for a shopper to tease those out to make an informed and thoughtful choice.

A shoulder to lean on
Sunday, November 11, 2001
By Bill Snead

The minute she peeks around her apartment door you just know Nona Clark is going to be a handful. She looks like an upbeat Grandma Moses. A big smile flashes underneath a pair of 1950s oyster-shell, cat-eye frames and there's barely a blade of hair out of place.

Rare breed of volunteers comforts the dying
Sunday, November 11, 2001
Death was near when June Koudelka went to the ailing patient's bedside at the hospice care center in Copley Township (Ohio). Gingerly, she lifted the woman's fingers from the bed sheets and began caressing her hand.

Patient and family needs at core of hospice care
Sunday, November 11, 2001
When a hospice nurse walks into the home of a person facing life's most intimate passage, one of the more crucial questions she or he will ask is: What are your hopes and fears?

Bobbie Clark: hospice volunteer
Sunday, November 11, 2001
By Bill Snead

It was only a couple of generations ago that our grandfathers or great-grandmothers spoke about death and dying as easily as we talk about the weather. Serious topics but socially acceptable.

Saying goodbye to Gertrude
Sunday, November 11, 2001
By Marsha Goff, Special to the Journal-World

It was purely an accident that I arrived at my friend Gertrude's house on a sunny May morning just in time to watch her die.

Asking questions can result in better care
Sunday, November 11, 2001
Most Americans don't know what hospice is, according to research conducted by the National Hospice Foundation.

The patient's choice is of utmost importance to hospice workers
Sunday, November 11, 2001
By Bill Snead

Hospice Care in Douglas County provides services to people who have been diagnosed with a life-limiting or terminal illness. Its services are available after a physician certifies that a patient has six or fewer months to live.

Taking care of grandmother
Sunday, November 4, 2001
By Tim Carpenter

Mary Roles' call in 1969 was a simple, but life-changing event for the Carpenter family. My great-aunt was saying my grandmother, Ruth Goode, had developed a weak heart and could no longer live alone in her two-story stucco home in the mountains of Princeton, W.Va.

Living on the edge: Baby boomers faced with care-giving dilemma
Sunday, November 4, 2001
Beth Liebich can't pinpoint the day she officially became a caregiver. Maybe it began in 1995 with her mother's intestinal inflammation. There were the twice-monthly doctor visits and extra trips to the pharmacy and the nearly hour commute across town — from her home in Clifton Park, N.Y., to Saratoga Springs and back — to check on Mom during the week.

Talking about care-giving possiblities can help down the road
Sunday, November 4, 2001
Caring for an ailing loved one can take its toll, but there is help. Here are some practical tips from www.caregiving.com.

Patient and family needs at core of hospice care
Sunday, November 4, 2001
When a hospice nurse walks into the home of a person facing life's most intimate passage, one of the more crucial questions she or he will ask is: What are your hopes and fears?

Finding your way through hospice care
Sunday, November 4, 2001
Most Americans don't know what hospice is, according to research conducted by the National Hospice Foundation. Nearly 75 percent don't know that hospice care can be provided at home and less than 10 percent know it provides pain relief for the terminally ill.

Pre-planning for funerals a growing trend
Sunday, October 28, 2001
By Mike Belt

In 1993 Charles and Kathleen Suffron looked to the future and faced the inevitability of their deaths. The Lawrence couple planned their own funerals right down to the last detail, from selecting caskets to selecting pallbearers.

Grief, faith and farewell: Last rites say 'I was here'
Sunday, October 28, 2001
All that Michael's father would ever say, whenever he had anything at all to say about it, was, "When I'm dead, just cremate me."

Finding your way through funeral planning
Sunday, October 28, 2001
The numbers are fairly convincing on this: 100 percent of us will die. Here are some tips to help make this event as neatly planned as possible for you and your family:

Saying goodbye around the world
Sunday, October 28, 2001
"For many tribes of the plains, it was customary to expose the corpse on a platform above ground or to place it in the limbs of a tree. This form of burial not only hastened the decomposition of the body, it also helped spread the soul's journey to the spirit world."

A good death ... Addressing spiritual issues helps the dying reach place of peace
Sunday, October 21, 2001
By Jim Baker

In the 16 years of his ministry, the Rev. John Polk has been present at the bedsides of hundreds of dying people. But witnessing so many deaths hasn't diminished Polk, who serves as chaplain at Lawrence Memorial Hospital. Rather, his experiences with those facing the end of life have enriched him, filling him with gratitude.

In death, spirituality can deepen meaning of life
Sunday, October 21, 2001
Gina Pavone knows her time on Earth is running short. Without a cure for the ovarian cancer that has spread to her liver, doctors said she has one, two, maybe three years left to live.

Finding your way to spiritual peace
Sunday, October 21, 2001
Consider this a true once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. For those facing the end of life, this precious time holds out a chance to explore spiritual destinies and question the role of spirituality, faith or religion in your life.

Dying and spirituality
Sunday, October 21, 2001
By Jim Baker

Members of the helping professions in Lawrence have some advice on ways to support the spiritual searching often done by dying people and their families.

Death and dying takes on many meanings
Sunday, October 14, 2001
By Jan Biles

Grace Marion, a first-generation Hispanic who was born in a barrio in Chicago, is looking forward to the Day of the Dead celebration. In late October and early November, the rural Lawrence woman will display skeleton dolls she bought in Mexico, a tiny skull she crafted from sugar and other items that symbolize the homecoming of deceased relatives.

Understanding cultural differences can improve health care
Sunday, October 14, 2001
By Jan Biles

You don't have to go much farther than a hospital room to find the cultural diversity of a city. It's common for the patient, doctor, nurses, therapists and custodians to not speak English as their first language, or to not share any first language at all.

Doctors and patients need to speak the same language to bridge cultural divide
Sunday, October 14, 2001
The cancer that entered Eva Washington's life was a masterful thief. Doctors had warned her about the illness lurking inside her. They even told her its name — acute myelogenous leukemia. They said she'd be dead in a few months.

Taking time to do advance directives now causes less stress on family later
Sunday, October 7, 2001
By Joel Mathis

Hwi-Ja Canda practices what she preaches. The 49-year-old Lawrence woman is a social worker at Lawrence Memorial Hospital, where she works with patients on developing advance directives — instructions to doctors and family members on how to provide health care should a patient become too ill to speak.

How to control health care at the end of life?
Sunday, October 7, 2001
In 1998, Margaret Lazarz sat down with trusted relatives to orchestrate a critical stage in her life — her final medical care. With two surgeries and a pacemaker behind her and congestive heart failure a near certainty, the then-80-year-old knew there would come a time, not so far in the future, when she would need her loved ones to act on her behalf.

Consider questions carefully before drawing up advance directives
Sunday, October 7, 2001
Before drawing up an advance directive, think through these questions and then discuss them with your loved ones:

Providing comfort at the end of life
Sunday, September 30, 2001
By Chad Lawhorn

A small 2-inch sticker on Nadereh Nasseri's computer tells the story of her life's work. It's the word "pain" surrounded by a red circle with a slash through it. Nasseri, patient care coordinator for Hospice Care in Douglas County, is all about relieving the pain of death, both for those who are dying and their families.

Finding your way through pain
Sunday, September 30, 2001
Here's something that should come as no surprise: The thought of dying in pain scares Americans. Over the past 25 years, significant advances have been made in treating the pain that accompanies critical illness.

Finding your way through palliative care
Sunday, September 30, 2001
If you find yourself diagnosed with a life-threatening illness, you can ask for palliative — or comfort — care at any point in your treatment to get the most quality of life. And, experts recommend, the sooner the better.

Finding your way through pain
Sunday, September 30, 2001
Over the past 25 years, significant advances have been made in treating the pain that accompanies critical illness. And new standards from the Joint Commission on Accreditation of Healthcare Organizations require health-care facilities to assess and manage pain.

Losing a spouse
Sunday, September 23, 2001
By Jan Biles

Carol Graham feels lucky. She had four years to say goodbye to her husband, Barney. Thankfully, his failing health did not prevent them from revisiting memories or cherishing new moments.

Getting a handle on finances is important after the death of spouse
Sunday, September 23, 2001
Every bereaved spouse has to work through grief and loss in his or her own way, but here are some general tips.

The healing arts
Sunday, September 16, 2001
By Jan Biles

The autumn, in a strange sort of way, makes Joan Stone hyperalert. She walks through leaves, with head downcast, looking for particular tints of brown, green and red — the subtle colors found in her late husband's eyes, the colors of Italy where she and Harris Stone made a lifetime of memories.

Untitled poem expresses sense of loss
Sunday, September 16, 2001
This poem was written by Kansas University dance professor Joan Stone after her husband's death.

It's time to talk: Most important conversations are hardest to have
Sunday, September 16, 2001
She was 46, a wife and a mother. But with that doctor's office visit, the university professor from Delmar, N.Y., became one more member of an aging nation forced to wrestle in words with her own mortality.

Finding your way through end-of-life conversations
Sunday, September 16, 2001
Here are tips to help you talk to doctors, loved ones and yourself about death and dying issues:

Joan Stone
Sunday, September 16, 2001
This poem was written by Kansas University dance professor Joan Stone following her husband's death:

Witt: Conversations should be started 'thoughtfully'
Sunday, September 16, 2001
By Jan Biles

How people communicate about death and dying may be grounded in their religious, ethnic or regional backgrounds, according to Doug Witt, clinical director at the Bert Nash Community Mental Health Center.

Death and dying resources
Sunday, September 16, 2001
Here are some Douglas County organizations that can provide information or help you make end-of-life decisions about your life and those of your loved ones:

Dramatic duo
Sunday, September 16, 2001
A couple of plays being presented this season by Lawrence theater companies will address end-of-life issues:

Mortuary moving in
Tuesday, September 11, 2001
By Chad Lawhorn

Call it the part of growth that no one wants to think about, but Lawrence's consistently rising population has spurred new activity in the city's funeral home business.
Lawrence Funeral Chapel is expected to open by the year's end at the southeast corner of Sixth Street and Monterey Way — a project driven by the city's ongoing expansion, its investors said.

Facing end-of-life issues
Sunday, September 9, 2001
By Jan Biles

Emily Taylor says talking about death and dying is the last taboo in America. "A survey said that people were more comfortable talking to their children about sex and birth control than they were about talking to their parents about death," said Taylor, former dean of women at Kansas University and a member of the Kansas Board of Healing Arts.

Agencies that can help with decisions
Sunday, September 9, 2001
Here are some Douglas County organizations that can provide information or help you make end-of-life decisions about your life and those of your loved ones.

For wife, husband's dying becomes labor of love
Sunday, September 9, 2001
By Bill Snead

Jeanie Hime stood outside Christ Community Church exchanging the hugs, tears and awkward conversation that always come after a funeral. She clutched the American flag that an hour earlier had draped her husband Larry's casket, one tangible part of the day she was not going to lose.

Medical organizations embrace guide for treatment for dying patients
Sunday, September 9, 2001
What kind of medical treatment are you entitled to at the end of your life? The following "core principles," developed in 1999 to guide treatment for dying patients, have been adopted by major medical organizations.

Glossary of end-of-life terms
Saturday, September 8, 2001
If you were to become seriously ill, you and those around you could expect to hear the following terms used by health-care professionals:

There's light at the end of the tunnel for America's end-of-life care
Saturday, September 8, 2001
Like many baby boomers, Barbara Wein was used to being in control of her life. She was a National Ski Patrol member, physically active and independent. She and her husband of 26 years traveled widely. She had no children but enjoyed an extensive family circle — both her parents were alive, and she had two sisters and several nieces and nephews.

Council takes on tough issues that all will encounter
Saturday, September 8, 2001
By Jan Biles

"A survey said that people were more comfortable talking to their children about sex and birth control than they were about talking to their parents about death," said Emily Taylor, former dean of women at Kansas University and a member of the Kansas Board of Healing Arts.

Reality principles
Saturday, September 8, 2001
What kind of medical treatment are you entitled to at the end of your life? The following "core principles," developed in 1999 to guide treatment for dying patients, have been adopted by major medical organizations:

Larry Himes, death and dying
Saturday, September 8, 2001
By Bill Snead

Jeanie Hime stood outside Christ Community Church exchanging the hugs, tears and awkward conversation that always come after a funeral. She clutched the American flag that an hour earlier had draped her husband Larry's casket, one tangible part of the day she was not going to lose.